Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Absence Explanation...

I'm back.  In order to keep my postings honest and sincere, I need to be in the right frame of mind to write.  I've done a lot of thinking about this lately, as it's been almost a month since I've posted anything.  When I'm in the right mindset, I have no trouble coming up with topics for posting about.  When I'm not, it's a struggle.  So...I'm going to use what I've learned from running to get me going again.  If any of you long term followers recall, my original mission statement was "to become a better runner, person and parent through training for a marathon".   Here is my chance to live up to that goal.  I've got a number of issues going on in my life that aren't where I want them to be.  Who doesn't, right ?   I finished my second marathon 4 weeks ago, and had the typical post marathon slump that I think is fairly normal after such an event.  Running is my main coping mechanism for dealing with things, and after focusing on training for months leading up to the race, its over.  There's a huge void now that used to be occupied by training, meal planning, reading about training, and so on. Then...to make the situation even worse, not only are you feeling a little lost, your main coping mechanism has been taken away because you need time to recover properly from the race you ran.  Then...the Monday after my race, I lost my job.  As a husband, father, and regular guy, a lot of your identity and self worth are predicated on your ability to support your family and yourself.   With that ability in doubt, its another substantial blow to the psyche.   It's not like my kids are going to be living in the back seat of a car eating out of dumpsters or anything, but financial insecurity in a troubled economy is an obstacle to mental peace.  For most people, when things get rough, they lean on the people closest to them for support.  I've had some issues there as well as some of the relationships that I've come to depend on, have not provided the lift I'd hoped for.  Some of that is real, and some of it is an erroneous perception on my part because I'm in a depressed state, which is tantamount to giving all of your insecurities steroids and growth hormones.  On the plus side, some relationships have become stronger, and I've gotten to experience the real connection that comes from genuine affection.  I think my mental turnaround was started by my annual Memorial Day tradition of having a great time, with great people, in a great place.  For 7 years now, this same group has gotten together a few times each year at the Wohelo Camps in Maine.  My kids are 7 and 10 years old, so it's been a great experience for them to get together with the same group of kids through such a wide growth period for them, and for the adults it's great to see each other in a setting away from the responsibilities and tediousness of every day life.  Some amazing experiences and phenomonal bonding has taken place up there, and I'm incredibly grateful to be a part of it.  So...a few hundred words back I said I was going to apply my running philosophy to this blog.  One of the most popular posts I made was one entitled "Do I Deserve a Night Off ?" ( click here to see that post )  The general idea was, if you're not sure, the answer is always a resounding "NO".  So, after much reflection, some agonizing, and even a little self pity, I'm moving forward with my blog, my relationships, and my life, but just getting on with it.  Any effort, even misdirected effort, is better than nothing.  One of my favorite quotes is; "You can't steer a parked car"  Before I can worry about direction, I need movement.  I did a post on momentum and inertia recently as well that you might want to check out if you're bored, curious, or suffering from severe insomnia ( click here for that one )  The reader's digest version of that is that getting started on anything is the hardest part.

My daily site visit counts are way down due to my inactivity, and I'm hoping that will come back as I start to post more, and hopefully provide some entertainment, inspiration, or humor for the few of you that are regularly reading.  If you see anything you like, tell a friend, link to the blog, or just send me a note saying you agreed/disagreed/or took offense to anything I wrote.

More posts will follow soon, and of course, as always, I hope all of you....

just don't stop running.


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